Team kit
So you didn't quite make the selection for the pro tour this year and that grand tour invite from Team Sky to lead out Bradley Wiggins must have got lost in the post. What better way to shout your expertise on a bicycle than to dress up like a professional. ‘Look, there goes Mark Cavendish!’ people will no doubt cry as you race up a hill in full Team GB kit. ‘Mark Cavendish looks a bit peaky,’ they will almost certainly murmur as you ‘sprint’ through town. So pick your team, suit up with the shorts, gloves and jersey and ride out and show the pros what they're missing. Team support vehicle, domestiques and silly man dressed as the Devil not included.